It's never too late to be what you might have been

Unnamed man outside Gulliver's, Manchester

I've been in a reflective mood of late. Questions like "what am I doing with my life?" and "will I ever be able to shift this last 10Kg?" and "who am I as a photographer, what is my voice?" keep popping into my mind, especially late at night, when fatigue overwhelms me. It's been a tiring month, April, for one reason or another.

It's very easy for me to fall into that way of thinking when I'm tired. The ease by which I convince myself of the futility of what I do sometimes staggers even me — it certainly staggers those around me.

So I've resolved that 2018 should be the year of relaxing and finding real joy in photography again. The simple joys: of a great composition, or great light, or the fortuitous happenstance that makes for Cartier Bresson's "Decisive Moment" (or as near as us mere mortals can reach, anyhow).

I want to shoot landscapes again. I'm not a landscape photographer, never will be, but there's something about the purity of a landscape photograph that attracts me. I have enjoyed in years gone by shooting landscapes which deliberately included people — because people are the core of my work — but just shooting landscapes for landscapes' sake would bring me great joy, too, I think.

I also want to conquer my fear of street portraiture. People around here are friendly for the most part, and more than willing to let you make a portrait of them. Who knows: if I were to carry an Instax printer with me I could even give them a copy. This is not an original idea, but it's one that I've been held back from trying for fear of failure.

So, more joy, less fear. That's the motto for the rest of the year. What's yours?

Looking for Muses in and around Manchester

It’s that time of year, where I’m trying out new ideas, scratching my mental itches, looking forward to my next portfolio of work.

And so I need some subjects to work with. I want to try out lighting scenarios and locations and ideas and stories that are in my head. And sure, I could hire professional models for that, but I want a more diverse set of subjects than going to modelling agencies or networking sites will get me. I need everyday people, not people who know how to work in front of the camera.

If you're in or near Manchester and you're interested in helping me make some interesting images, hit me up — on the contact form, by email at hello@gmb.photo, or on Twitter or Instagram. I don't know what I'll come up with, but I'll come up with something (I have a notebook full of ideas, so no fear there).

What will you do with the images?

I'm going to start sharing some of this self-commissioned work here as I shoot it, along with behind-the-scenes, idea-to-final-print and so on. My goal is to get all of these images finished before I start the next one, since one of my worst habits is not finishing what I start. Once I've got a final print together I'll happily give you a copy.

How does this differ from your 15 Minute Portraits?

My 15 Minute Portrait shoots are all about doing something new and unique in a very short space of time. They're necessarily studio bound — because I don't have time to be setting up and tearing down between shoots.

These images are far more experimental. I might ask to just turn up and shoot with you with absolutely no definite ideas about where I want to start. I might shoot a picture in which you're mostly anonymous. I might shoot something in which you're only in the distance or in which you're super close-up.

Whatever we end up shooting together, I aim for it to be amazing. I can't wait to get started and work with you!

It's Always Worth Doing Something That Terrifies You

Until very, very recently, I've never entered a photography competition. Well, that's not actually true: I entered, I think, one competition at the Lancaster Photographic Society some part in the last decade. But nothing national, or international, or indeed particularly outside my little bubble. Partly because failing was scary, but mostly because I was absolutely convinced that there was nothing in my output that was competition worthy.

If there's one thing that I've finally started to learn this year, it's that you've got to do the stuff that scares you. If you don't, it will continue to scare you, and you'll never know if you could have done it. Fear will have won, and all you'll be able to do in the future is make some excuse about not giving it a shot — "I didn't have anything that was a good fit for the competition," for example, which is just code for "well, I was too scared to try." If you're really honest with yourself and the people with whom you're talking.

So this year, I decided to throw my cap over the wall this year. And because I'm a lunatic and I don't like to do things by halves, I decided that the competition to enter would be the British Journal of Photography's International Photography Award.

Yes, I am that mad. I've got no illusions that I'm actually going to win anything. After all, I'm just a guy submitting some work. Maybe next year I'll do something more considered. Photo competitions like the IPA are about getting your work in front of the judges, and about making sure that people know you're alive. Other than that, it's pointless caring about winning — there are so many great photographers out there and so many stunning images.

I entered two sets of photographs this year: one of character studies — partly drawn from my Fifteen Minutes Portraits project, partly from stuff I'd shot on other commissions — and one of evening.camera images. Because after 400+ images in that project, why the hell not? 

Here they are for your enjoyment: hope you like looking at them as much as I liked making them.