2020: Good Riddance

It’s New Year’s Eve. And instead of attending a party with friends I am, like so many of you, sat at home. And in my case, writing my first blog entry in nearly two years (the last one was in April 2019, for crying out loud).

The studio is cold and quiet, and will stay that way until the current Tier 4 restrictions get lifted. Bookings this year have been scant — that’s okay, I’ve had other ways to keep busy and keep the lights on — and the time and energy needed to do more creative and conceptual work have been scanter still.

And as we celebrate this arbitrary line in the sand, this throwing-in-the-bin of the year just gone, coupled with unreasonable hope for what begins tomorrow, I don’t know when I’m going to be picking up a camera again, at least not professionally.

Maybe when I do it’ll be more headshots, Maybe it’ll be something more “arty” (whatever that means). Maybe, maybe, maybe…

Here’s hoping your 2021 is better than your 2020 was, whatever that means.

New Year, New Start, etc.

It's 2019. And lo, everyone was thankful that the mess of 2018 was over and done with^*.

I didn't make any resolutions this year. After nigh on 38 years, there's not many New Year's resolutions that I can think of that have either stood the test of time or been particularly helpful. Most of the good stuff we do in our lives is about the forming of habits and the following-through on the promises-to-self that we make in the wee hours. So it goes.

But it's a New Year, so it's a time to start thinking about where I've been^** and where I want to go in the next 12 months.

Where I've been

I didn't create much in 2018. And that's not to say I didn't shoot much. I shot quite a lot, and although it wasn't as prolific a year as some have been, I'm satisfied enough with it from a volume-of-work-done point of view. Actors' headshots shoots have become more common, and with a bit of marketing I can see the chance for some real growth there.

But I didn't really push the boat out, creatively. I didn't do any of the crazy big production shoots that I've done in years past. I didn't do much in the way of work on my current projects — although I shot quite a lot of frames for subject|object, I didn't do anything for Celtic Gods. I didn't start any new projects and, crucially, I didn't finish any of the old ones, either, despite my intentions at the outset of the year.

Where I'm going

I've got a number of new challenges and Things To Keep Me Occupied this year. A lot of them aren't for the pages of this blog, really, so I'll spare you those. Photographically speaking, however, here are some Things:

Refurbish and relaunch the studio

Okay, technically not just photography-related, but whatever. I've had my studio space for about two years now. In that time I've shot quite a bit of work in it, but I've never been really happy with it. It's cold, because it's in an old mill. It's dark because it has no windows. It's untidy because it's mine. Etcetera. Hitherto, it's not been the most welcoming place for clients, and I've often found myself apologising for it.

So, new year, new space. Except I'm not going to move — partly because I don't want to spend the extra money on rent and partly because right now I've got all the space I really need (if not all that I'd really want, but see point 1). Instead, I'm refurbishing the space that I have: new floor (laminate wood instead of painted concrete), new furniture (at the very least a couch upon which clients can chill rather than the old office chairs I've been using for the last while), new lights (some reasonable IKEA wall lights rather than the horrible fluorescent overheads which are currently in use).

I'm part way through the project right now; the floor is down at least, and I've put shelving in to house all my equipment so that it takes up less floor space. Already it feels new and exciting, and I like being in it more than I did.

Ideally I'd like it to be more than just a photo studio space. I already use it for musical jams with a group of friends. I hope I'll use it for more things still — there being other forms of visual art besides photography.

Shoot more conceptual stuff

This last year I've shot a lot of portraits. I like shooting portraits; it's my comfort zone. And like all comfort zones, sooner or later, it can get boring.

Once again I find myself with a notebook full of ideas for more concept-driven images with wildly different visual aesthetics. I'm finding myself inspired by Alexia Sinclair, Tim Walker, Gregory Crewdson, John Keatley and others. And I'm in a position where I need shoot the images in my head or get off the proverbial pot.

And here's the thing, as ever: the only thing that's holding me back is me, and how much energy I can bring to the creative process.

FINISH STUFF

I'm terrible at finishing stuff. Absolutely, demonstrably awful. This year, I'm going to finally finish subject|object, and at least get the ball rolling on an exhibition for it.

I've got more Celtic Gods shoots in my notebook than I can shake a stick at, and yet I've done nothing with that project for nearly two years now — and the stuff I shot two years ago once again languishes unfinished.

For subject|object I simply need to go somewhere other than Manchester for a few days and shoot there, because it'd difficult to get ethnic diversity I want in this town, believe it or not. London is a much likelier place to find the folk I want to work with for this last phase. They say the last 10% of the work costs 90% of the efford, and that's definitely what I'm feeling right now.

TL; DR

2019 has to be the year of shooting or getting off the pot for me.

End.

^* Except for those people who see January first as an arbitrary boundary, and believe that all of existence is in fact just one long rolling shitshow from one day to the next. To each their own.

^**Okay, technically this should have been done at the end of 2018. It's a few weeks' difference; I'll live.

[Finally] announcing my Actors' Headshots service

I've shot quite a few actors' headshots over the years, along with bunch of more corporate headshot work, but I've never officially offered actors' headshots as as service; those shoots have always been on an ad-hoc basis.

But headshots are right in my wheelhouse: simple portraits that have to connect with their audience whilst allowing the subject to express a range of expressions. And I love working with actors: they're such versatile subjects, and are used to taking direction.

So I've decided it's finally time to offer a headshots service specifically targeted to actors. You can read the full service page to learn more about what I'm offering, but it breaks down to three packages:

• Express session — 45 minutes, 1 final image, £74.99
• Two-hour session — 3 final images, £179.99
• Three-hour session — 5 final images, £249.99

I can't wait to start working more with local actors and actresses, and making amazing headshot portraits with them.

It's never too late to be what you might have been

I've been in a reflective mood of late. Questions like "what am I doing with my life?" and "will I ever be able to shift this last 10Kg?" and "who am I as a photographer, what is my voice?" keep popping into my mind, especially late at night, when fatigue overwhelms me. It's been a tiring month, April, for one reason or another.

It's very easy for me to fall into that way of thinking when I'm tired. The ease by which I convince myself of the futility of what I do sometimes staggers even me — it certainly staggers those around me.

So I've resolved that 2018 should be the year of relaxing and finding real joy in photography again. The simple joys: of a great composition, or great light, or the fortuitous happenstance that makes for Cartier Bresson's "Decisive Moment" (or as near as us mere mortals can reach, anyhow).

I want to shoot landscapes again. I'm not a landscape photographer, never will be, but there's something about the purity of a landscape photograph that attracts me. I have enjoyed in years gone by shooting landscapes which deliberately included people — because people are the core of my work — but just shooting landscapes for landscapes' sake would bring me great joy, too, I think.

I also want to conquer my fear of street portraiture. People around here are friendly for the most part, and more than willing to let you make a portrait of them. Who knows: if I were to carry an Instax printer with me I could even give them a copy. This is not an original idea, but it's one that I've been held back from trying for fear of failure.

So, more joy, less fear. That's the motto for the rest of the year. What's yours?